Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Love me! Relationship Addiction: “the hidden epidemic”

Society’s Myth: Love is all you need. The right person will make you complete.
Could you be addicted to love or be a relationship addict without even knowing it? Psychologists say "Yes!"

In 1986 Robert Palmer made these words famous: “You’re going to have to face it, you’re addicted to love.” Our culture is addicted to love. Sentimental love songs, enticing ads for romantic getaways, hordes of romance novels, and sappy movies are evidence. The yearning to be cherished by a special someone is a God-given desire. But for some women, this poses a significant problem. Because of insatiable cravings for love, they will do anything to find it and ultimately land in destructive addictive relationships. In a search to fulfill my deep, unmet needs, I was sexually assaulted numerous times. The shame, confusion, guilt, and breakdown of personal boundaries left numerous scars which carried over into later relationships.

God’s Word says the person who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives (see 1 Timothy 5:6). My soul died. If you were to take off my mask, there’d be no face. If you empathize with my story I want you to know: you’re not damaged. You can’t be damaged because you’re made in the image of God Almighty! For this reason, you have great dignity, not because you’re so good, but because you’re made up of his essence which is capable of making God’s goodness visible through you to others.

Healing requires we break the invisible bonds of deception, shame, and fear; such as, All men want one thing only. All men are alike. I had become calloused to any endearing qualities in men…until I met Jesus. Jesus showed me there is a kind of love so pure it can wash away all my sins, no matter how unsightly the stain and permanent the scars.

Daughter, receive the love of God! The thought that anyone could really love me like this—unconditionally, no strings attached, overwhelmed me. I fell at his feet and pleaded for forgiveness. He forgave. The Savior gave me what no hustler could—genuine love; love that would be mine forever, not just for one night.

Listen to God and refute the lies you’ve come to believe. Believe in the goodness of who you are and what you’re becoming. You’re not a victim. You’re God’s child—already complete in Christ (see Colossians 2:10; Ephesians 2:13-14; the term “in Christ” refers to the vital spiritual union we have with Jesus Christ which produces peace).

When you are in Christ you have direct access to God Almighty (see Ephesians 3:12). When you are in Christ, Satan has no power over you. You can break the chains of bondage and claim genuine freedom! When you are in Christ you can’t stay in turpitude for very long. It becomes a place of discontent. Regardless of what the culture or enemy tells you, keep focused on the goal of becoming a healthy victor in Christ.

A good article to read is: The Telltale Signs of Relationship Addiction by EHarmony. They've included a "Love Addict Quiz" to guage emotional intensity.

This is an excerpt from the book Something Happened On My Way To Hell"" by author Kimberly Davidson

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