Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Image Matters

Psychiatrist Dr. Gerald May said, “How we view ourselves at any given moment may have little to do with who we really are.” Think about that? So this begs the question: Do you know who you really are?

About 2 years ago, one morning I was sitting quietly alone, studying, when I heard this loud BOOM. The pets were startled and I thought it came from outside. I live in the country so we’re always hearing loud booms and guns going off, so I ignored it. Then I decided to go upstairs and as I approached the bathroom I saw pieces of a shattered mirror all over the floor—in the hallway and covering the entire bathroom. Yep—the mirror came loose and fell off the wall. As I began to sweep up the broken pieces I saw a splintered image of myself in those pieces.

This made me think. We try to get a good view, an accurate image of ourselves, but because the mirror of our lives is lying in pieces what we get is a shattered image. It’s no use trying to put the mirror back together. Even if you could, the mirror would produce a disjointed and disturbing image.

Let’s talk about our image. Think about the last time you introduced yourself to someone. Did you say something like, “Hi, my name is Sally. I’m a nurse.” Or have you noticed that when someone meets you for the first time they say, “What do you do?” You answer, “I’m a so and so.” I noticed that in the church the first thing women would ask me was how many children I had. That was always awkward for me because I don’t have any natural born children.

Our society tells us that our identities are wrapped up in our jobs, more specifically our roles, even in our appearances. Essentially, we are what we do or what we look like. There are dangers in this thinking: 1) At some point you’re going to fail at what you do—then who are you? And…You’re going to get older and lose your youthfulness; and 2) At some point who you truly are (God’s child) is going to conflict with what you do—and then what do you do?

Another term for our shattered image is the “false self.” The false self is the constructed, patchwork image we’ve created to deal with the world. I say, that we’ve become pros at wearing what I call our Cover Girl Masks. We’ve bought into cultural messages in order to give us a personal source of meaning—of identity. Is it possible the reason we pursue money, glamour, sexiness, the perfect body, recognition and status, that it may all be in an attempt to enhance our self-importance? I believe so. I think we’ve become a culture of people who have a distorted view of entitlement. We’re encouraged to be narcissists. Not everyone is-- but many have a high level of self-love. This is a false self-- because below the layer of superiority lies a deeply rooted sense of worthlessness, fear and hidden shame. The false self fears having her weaknesses and inadequacies exposed.

Sadly, what our culture creates is ONLY AN illusion of success. I know. I speak out of experience—not condemnation. For decades this is what I did. Even after I committed to follow God, for 14 years my life continued to be all about me. I continued to wear my carefully crafted Cover Girl Mask. We all experience tension between the false self and our real, true self. The false self is our fleshly, human nature. It tends to be defensive, self-protective and selfish, which makes intimacy with God and others difficult.

On the other hand, the real self is the image of God within us. Genesis 1:26-27 says God made you and me in HIS image and in His likeness. That is the CORE of our true identity. God’s image makes human beings capable of interacting with other people, of thinking and reflecting, and of willing and choosing freely. This is our real self—which has the ability to think abstractly, reason, to direct ourselves towards that which we know is good and right and authentic and truly beautiful.

When God our Creator gave us the remarkable title of “the image of God” he was in essence saying every body matters--every body has dignity and value. This is why God forbids the taking of a human life. Genesis 9:6: “Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed; for in the image of God has God made man.”

Dr. Maxwell Maltz said, “Accept yourself as you are. Otherwise you will never see opportunity. You will not feel free to move toward it; you will feel you are not deserving.” Think about this: when you receive a beautifully wrapped gift, what do you do? You may sit and gaze at the pretty packaging, but it’s only for a moment. If you are like most people, you unveil the gift inside by taking off the wrapper. Our outside wrapper is not representative of the real person we are, the one God created.

If you want to hear more on this subject, join me on Wednesday the 18th for the Every Body Matters show on BlogTalkRadio; live at 11:30 pst. If you can't login for the live show you can always download the on-demand episode [scroll down the page]. Be blessed!

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