John Newton wrote, “I am not what I might be, I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I wish to be, I am not what I hope to be. But I thank God I am not what I once was, and I can say with the great apostle, "By the grace of God I am what I am.”
The cartoon character, Popeye the sailor man, was famous for always settling and moaning, “I yam what I yam.” We too often grumble, “That’s just the way I am and I will never change.” Throw out the complacent thought if that is in your vocabulary. One of the greatest obstacles to living life as a Christian woman is looking for what’s wrong with us-- our body, our clothes, our relationships, our children, even our friends, and then dwelling on it. “I yam what I yam!”
Grab a hold of this fact: “God made you in his image.” (Genesis 1:27)
That is profound! It means that God used a template of himself to make you like him in many ways. Romans 8:29 also tells us: “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son.” That’s not the message our culture promotes, is it?
Growing up, most of society’s messages told us that our physical appearance was most important because the body is a measure of female attractiveness and social success. Women are also expected today to attain the superwoman persona. Add to that any family variables such as high achievement and perfectionism and you can see why we don’t see ourselves as God sees us.
Describe yourself-- first your physical appearance, and then how other people see you. Do you think this description lines up with God’s image of you?
Showing posts with label body image. Show all posts
Showing posts with label body image. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Your Creative Purpose
One of my favorite programs is the Science Channel’s “How the Universe Works.” When the entire universe is mapped out in front of you [in this case on the TV screen], you realize we are insignificant creatures on a minor planet of a very average star in the outer suburbs of one of a 100,000-million galaxies. That explains why it is so hard for some people to believe that God Almighty, creator of the universe would care about us or even notice that we exist.
It is interesting that the psalmist who wrote Psalm 8, knew far less about creation than modern scientists do today, but he knew far more about God than we seem too. He wrote,
“O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens. When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet: all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas. O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! [Psalms 8:1; 3-9]”
The psalmist knew creation was big even if he didn’t know how really big. He asked,
“What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?” He got it—that we were created for a unique, personal and eternal relationship with God. It is this purpose and destiny that sets us apart from the rest of creation. Human beings alone are stamped in the image of God (Genesis 1:26).
Because man is made in God’s image, we are the only creatures on earth that can choose how to use our gifts and creative power—not only to create new life, but also to shape the world according to God’s purpose. God calls us to use this gift to build and not destroy. Are you aware of God’s gift to you and the responsibility to use it wisely?
Human beings are uniquely addressed by God (Genesis 1:28) and called into a personal relationship with him. We were made to know God (Genesis 2). Human beings alone are addressed by God through special revelation which is a fancy theological term for “the message of Scripture.” God is speaking to us through the Holy Bible. The message of the gospel is that God has made himself known—not vaguely—but specifically in words of his choice to his chosen people. As we study the Scriptures we encounter the God Almighty, the Creator of the universe, who reveals himself using human terms.
The Scriptures teach us God is a personal being who is speaking to us. But do we choose to listen—to respond? Do we choose to open the Scriptures daily to hear from God? In our prayer time do we listen and ponder, or do we tell God what to do? Or do we let the busyness of our hectic lives take priority? BTW, “BUSY” stands for “Being Under Satan’s Yolk.”
It can be a challenge to find daily quality time to be alone with God, but it can be done! It’s our pride--with a little help from the devil that says we can come to know God without opening up his word. You say, “that’s not me.” Do you realize we could spend our entire lives reading, studying and even memorizing Scripture, but if the words and truths do not penetrate our hearts and convict us to change the way we think, act and live, it is of no real benefit to us? God asks us examine, comprehend and apply! In that process we will get to know our Creator on a more personal level and see the innate value we, and other human beings, truly have.
It is interesting that the psalmist who wrote Psalm 8, knew far less about creation than modern scientists do today, but he knew far more about God than we seem too. He wrote,
“O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens. When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet: all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas. O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! [Psalms 8:1; 3-9]”
The psalmist knew creation was big even if he didn’t know how really big. He asked,
“What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?” He got it—that we were created for a unique, personal and eternal relationship with God. It is this purpose and destiny that sets us apart from the rest of creation. Human beings alone are stamped in the image of God (Genesis 1:26).
Because man is made in God’s image, we are the only creatures on earth that can choose how to use our gifts and creative power—not only to create new life, but also to shape the world according to God’s purpose. God calls us to use this gift to build and not destroy. Are you aware of God’s gift to you and the responsibility to use it wisely?
Human beings are uniquely addressed by God (Genesis 1:28) and called into a personal relationship with him. We were made to know God (Genesis 2). Human beings alone are addressed by God through special revelation which is a fancy theological term for “the message of Scripture.” God is speaking to us through the Holy Bible. The message of the gospel is that God has made himself known—not vaguely—but specifically in words of his choice to his chosen people. As we study the Scriptures we encounter the God Almighty, the Creator of the universe, who reveals himself using human terms.
The Scriptures teach us God is a personal being who is speaking to us. But do we choose to listen—to respond? Do we choose to open the Scriptures daily to hear from God? In our prayer time do we listen and ponder, or do we tell God what to do? Or do we let the busyness of our hectic lives take priority? BTW, “BUSY” stands for “Being Under Satan’s Yolk.”
It can be a challenge to find daily quality time to be alone with God, but it can be done! It’s our pride--with a little help from the devil that says we can come to know God without opening up his word. You say, “that’s not me.” Do you realize we could spend our entire lives reading, studying and even memorizing Scripture, but if the words and truths do not penetrate our hearts and convict us to change the way we think, act and live, it is of no real benefit to us? God asks us examine, comprehend and apply! In that process we will get to know our Creator on a more personal level and see the innate value we, and other human beings, truly have.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Me, made in the image of God?
Today when we hear the word image, it connotes something different than the likeness of God. An actress or politician hires an image manager. An executive dresses for success, conveying an image. A company seeks the right image. Man’s self-image thrives on physical attractiveness, athletic ability, or a place on the corporate ladder. When we approach Scripture, we encounter a new kind of image.
God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our [referring to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit] likeness” (Genesis 1:26). The author of Genesis teaches that humans are made in the “image” of God. But this is not explained in Scripture. Theologians agree that any resemblance to God is not physical since “God is spirit” (John 4:24).
Most often the image of God is explained in terms of our immaterial aspects such as our intellect, emotions, our will, and the spiritual qualities shared by God and humanity. There are certain attributes of God referred to as God’s communicable attributes. They are qualities that God exhibits in absolute perfection that believers are called to emulate such as his goodness, holiness, righteousness, desire for justice, ability to love unconditionally and forgive offenses, faithfulness, slowness to anger, compassion, truthfulness, graciousness, mercy, and wisdom.
Jesus said, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matt. 5:48). The word “perfect” is the Greek word teleios, which means “mature, fully developed.” It doesn’t refer to flawless or moral perfection, but to the kind of love that is like God’s love—mature, complete, holy, full of blessing. To be perfect is to seek and work to love others as wholeheartedly as God loves us and fulfill the purpose for which you were made. God’s image—his moral attributes are an example for us to follow.
Mother Teresa said that when she looked into the face of a dying beggar she prayed to see the face of Jesus so she might serve the beggar as she would serve Christ.
Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5 and 6), blesses the poor, the grieving, the meek, the persecuted. He comments on how difficult it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. He condemns pride and self-sufficiency. In effect, he is said, “Fine-tune all your interests until the attitude of your mind and heart and body are on me.” God asks us to live out in his likeness in this messed up world. He expects us to give flesh to his Spirit, bearing his image.
As the Spirit works within us, we become more like him (2 Cor. 3:18), bearing his image. As a believer, “we have the amazing ability and the awesome responsibility to make visible the invisible attributes of the Creator and Redeemer” (Dr. Gerry Breshears). God has set eternity in the hearts of men which means we can never be completely satisfied with earthly pleasures and pursuits.
Because we are created in God’s image, we have a spiritual thirst, an eternal value, and nothing but God will ever truly satisfy us. He has built into us a restless yearning for the kind of perfect world only found in him.
God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our [referring to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit] likeness” (Genesis 1:26). The author of Genesis teaches that humans are made in the “image” of God. But this is not explained in Scripture. Theologians agree that any resemblance to God is not physical since “God is spirit” (John 4:24).
Most often the image of God is explained in terms of our immaterial aspects such as our intellect, emotions, our will, and the spiritual qualities shared by God and humanity. There are certain attributes of God referred to as God’s communicable attributes. They are qualities that God exhibits in absolute perfection that believers are called to emulate such as his goodness, holiness, righteousness, desire for justice, ability to love unconditionally and forgive offenses, faithfulness, slowness to anger, compassion, truthfulness, graciousness, mercy, and wisdom.
Jesus said, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matt. 5:48). The word “perfect” is the Greek word teleios, which means “mature, fully developed.” It doesn’t refer to flawless or moral perfection, but to the kind of love that is like God’s love—mature, complete, holy, full of blessing. To be perfect is to seek and work to love others as wholeheartedly as God loves us and fulfill the purpose for which you were made. God’s image—his moral attributes are an example for us to follow.
Mother Teresa said that when she looked into the face of a dying beggar she prayed to see the face of Jesus so she might serve the beggar as she would serve Christ.
Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5 and 6), blesses the poor, the grieving, the meek, the persecuted. He comments on how difficult it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. He condemns pride and self-sufficiency. In effect, he is said, “Fine-tune all your interests until the attitude of your mind and heart and body are on me.” God asks us to live out in his likeness in this messed up world. He expects us to give flesh to his Spirit, bearing his image.
As the Spirit works within us, we become more like him (2 Cor. 3:18), bearing his image. As a believer, “we have the amazing ability and the awesome responsibility to make visible the invisible attributes of the Creator and Redeemer” (Dr. Gerry Breshears). God has set eternity in the hearts of men which means we can never be completely satisfied with earthly pleasures and pursuits.
Because we are created in God’s image, we have a spiritual thirst, an eternal value, and nothing but God will ever truly satisfy us. He has built into us a restless yearning for the kind of perfect world only found in him.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Are You a Carrot, An Egg, or a Coffee Bean?
By Anonymous ~
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.
The daughter then asked. "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity—boiling water—but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.
The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.
If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another lever?
How do you handle Adversity? Are you a Carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean.
~ ~
We can be a coffee bean -- through the power of the Holy Spirit.
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.
The daughter then asked. "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity—boiling water—but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.
The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.
If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another lever?
How do you handle Adversity? Are you a Carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean.
~ ~
We can be a coffee bean -- through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Friday, January 21, 2011
An Image to Die For
In junior high school, I created collages of supermodels from magazines and pasted them all over my bedroom walls. Although my intention was merely to express myself and my aspirations, all these images did were create emotions of discontent and dissatisfaction with my own body and self-image.
Clare Boothe Luce, author and diplomat, said, “Advertising has done more to cause the social unrest of the twentieth century than any other single factors.” The American Psychological Association states, “The proliferation of sexualized images of girls and young women in advertising, merchandising, and media is harming girls’ self-image and healthy development.”
Body image is one of the greatest pressures on our minds. Teens, in particular, are extremely susceptible to media images and celebrity diet stories. We persistently see celebrity’s improving their body images. Many learn quickly that the way to be popular and loved is through the sculpting of their body. Sadly, in the search for acceptance and the body beautiful, it becomes an obsession.
According to the National Eating Disorders Association, 51 percent of nine and ten-year-old girls feel better about themselves when they are dieting. By the age of thirteen, 53 percent of girls are unhappy with their body image. And by the age of seventeen, this figure jumps up to 78 percent. And this author, a baby boomer, feels the same way, as most of my female friends do. Experts warn if we don't do something about the demands, the consequences will be devastating.
Jesus took onto himself every one of our faults, each imperfection—all our sin. As a result a space was created—a hole in our soul, that “something,” which can only be filled by him. God created us in such a way that only those who seek Jesus will be filled. We will never be filled by following celebrities or pop culture.
Clare Boothe Luce, author and diplomat, said, “Advertising has done more to cause the social unrest of the twentieth century than any other single factors.” The American Psychological Association states, “The proliferation of sexualized images of girls and young women in advertising, merchandising, and media is harming girls’ self-image and healthy development.”
Body image is one of the greatest pressures on our minds. Teens, in particular, are extremely susceptible to media images and celebrity diet stories. We persistently see celebrity’s improving their body images. Many learn quickly that the way to be popular and loved is through the sculpting of their body. Sadly, in the search for acceptance and the body beautiful, it becomes an obsession.
According to the National Eating Disorders Association, 51 percent of nine and ten-year-old girls feel better about themselves when they are dieting. By the age of thirteen, 53 percent of girls are unhappy with their body image. And by the age of seventeen, this figure jumps up to 78 percent. And this author, a baby boomer, feels the same way, as most of my female friends do. Experts warn if we don't do something about the demands, the consequences will be devastating.
Jesus took onto himself every one of our faults, each imperfection—all our sin. As a result a space was created—a hole in our soul, that “something,” which can only be filled by him. God created us in such a way that only those who seek Jesus will be filled. We will never be filled by following celebrities or pop culture.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Perfect Look
As a teen and young woman I used to think, What I’d give to be a super-model!
The boys in my sixth grade class told me I could be a model but only for Mad Magazine. I started to create collages of models because they represented “perfection” to me. They became my idols. Models and actresses give me life! I turned my heart to idols because I connected with them. An idol is anything, or anyone, we put our trust in in order to meet our needs apart from God. An idol can be described as a God substitute.
Isaiah 44:17-18 says, “From the rest he makes a god, his idol; he bows down to it and worships. He prays to it and says, ‘Save me; you are my god.’ They know nothing, they understand nothing; their eyes are plastered over so they cannot see, and their minds closed so they cannot understand.”
Can you see how an idol (perfect person) might be a delusion? Inevitably, my idols made me feel worthless and humiliated because I couldn’t measure up to their standards. I hate my body! Why do so many of us hate our bodies? Why aren’t we pleased with what God gave us? We cry, “I must be beautiful and perfect!”
We ignore our genetic code. So what happens? Since we can’t attain that perfection, we don’t feel good about ourselves because our self-esteem has become related to our body and self-image. When we don’t feel good about ourselves, it’s hard to develop meaningful relationships with others.
Whatever happened to the importance of “inner beauty?” The Bible says, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).
Christ looks at the heart. Why are we all so enslaved to the way we look?
1. We buy into the lies the media feeds us.
Our hearts believe the lies that physical beauty will bring satisfaction and recognition. False promises like, If I’m beautiful, I will be happy and successful. I’ll be popular and desirable to men. I will know lasting intimacy and true love. I’ll be secure, important, significant, and confident.
2. Other factors (besides attaining perfectionism) can contribute to abnormal eating habits.
For example, depression, a dysfunctional family system, control and dependency, performance pressure from the family (especially in the area of grades and other parent appointed activities), involvement in activities that promote thinness like gymnastics, swimming, dancing, cheerleading, running, ice-skating, and appearance-oriented activities like modeling and beauty pageants.
God knows women are interested in making themselves look good. The apostle Peter defines inner beauty for us:
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful (1 Peter 3:3-5).
3. What kind of adorning does God think is beautiful in women?
Examples of beauty: there is beauty in integrity, intelligence, humor, simplicity, and complexity. Can you think of other examples?
When a child of God looks into the Word of God, she sees the Son of God and is changed by the Spirit of God into the image of God for the glory of God.
“Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.”
–Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)
The boys in my sixth grade class told me I could be a model but only for Mad Magazine. I started to create collages of models because they represented “perfection” to me. They became my idols. Models and actresses give me life! I turned my heart to idols because I connected with them. An idol is anything, or anyone, we put our trust in in order to meet our needs apart from God. An idol can be described as a God substitute.
Isaiah 44:17-18 says, “From the rest he makes a god, his idol; he bows down to it and worships. He prays to it and says, ‘Save me; you are my god.’ They know nothing, they understand nothing; their eyes are plastered over so they cannot see, and their minds closed so they cannot understand.”
Can you see how an idol (perfect person) might be a delusion? Inevitably, my idols made me feel worthless and humiliated because I couldn’t measure up to their standards. I hate my body! Why do so many of us hate our bodies? Why aren’t we pleased with what God gave us? We cry, “I must be beautiful and perfect!”
We ignore our genetic code. So what happens? Since we can’t attain that perfection, we don’t feel good about ourselves because our self-esteem has become related to our body and self-image. When we don’t feel good about ourselves, it’s hard to develop meaningful relationships with others.
Whatever happened to the importance of “inner beauty?” The Bible says, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).
Christ looks at the heart. Why are we all so enslaved to the way we look?
1. We buy into the lies the media feeds us.
Our hearts believe the lies that physical beauty will bring satisfaction and recognition. False promises like, If I’m beautiful, I will be happy and successful. I’ll be popular and desirable to men. I will know lasting intimacy and true love. I’ll be secure, important, significant, and confident.
2. Other factors (besides attaining perfectionism) can contribute to abnormal eating habits.
For example, depression, a dysfunctional family system, control and dependency, performance pressure from the family (especially in the area of grades and other parent appointed activities), involvement in activities that promote thinness like gymnastics, swimming, dancing, cheerleading, running, ice-skating, and appearance-oriented activities like modeling and beauty pageants.
God knows women are interested in making themselves look good. The apostle Peter defines inner beauty for us:
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful (1 Peter 3:3-5).
3. What kind of adorning does God think is beautiful in women?
Examples of beauty: there is beauty in integrity, intelligence, humor, simplicity, and complexity. Can you think of other examples?
When a child of God looks into the Word of God, she sees the Son of God and is changed by the Spirit of God into the image of God for the glory of God.
“Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.”
–Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)
Monday, August 9, 2010
My story: Saving Opheila
Ophelia, in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, illustrates the destructive forces affecting young women. Ophelia is a typical girl, footloose and fancy-free. But she loses herself in adolescence. She falls in love with Hamlet and lives only for his approval. She doesn’t have a relationship with God and the insight of the Holy Spirit to guide and direct her, so she lives merely to meet Hamlet’s and her father’s demands. Who she is, her value, is determined solely by their approval, and she is torn apart. She goes mad with grief. Elegantly dressed, tragically she drowns in a stream filled with flowers.
For twenty years I lived an Ophelia existence. I attempted to take control of my mind, yet I couldn’t conquer the addiction to food, alcohol, cigarettes, diet pills, and my promiscuous behavior. As a kid, our family moved quite a bit. The first move from America to London, England. I was teased by schoolmates because I didn’t fit into the culture. I was unlike them because I had an accent. I felt stupid because I needed a tutor. I was weird because my clothes were different. Weirdo! What I heard was, “You do not belong” and “You are not accepted.”
We moved back to America when I was twelve. Again I was weird and different, but now I was entering adolescence—the hurricane years. The pain of rejection became part of my normal thought process. I expected people not to like me. We moved several more times. I fell in with the wild crowd, feeling the pressure to fit in. I smoked cigarettes and tried alcohol and drugs. This group gave me a sense of belonging and a means to forget the rejection and losses.
Then I began to gravitate into a new world of worshipping celebrities and models. I believed the lie that to be popular you have to look like a model. Teen magazines say, Don’t worry about being good, worry about looking good and being socially accepted!
As a teen I pretty much turned off my God-given talents and gifts in search of the Western culture’s definition of ideal. I set my sights on being a super model.
When I announced this in my sixth-grade class, a few boys laughed, “Yeah, you’ll be a supermodel…for MAD Magazine.” Translation, You’re ugly. Give it up! I didn’t give it up. I’d do anything to be a beautiful super model or celebrity. And why not? In this culture celebrity and beauty has its rewards. This was the beginning of what I call the Cover Girl masquerade . . . and the spiral downwards began.
The spiral began innocently enough with a simple diet. My senior year in high school I lost fifteen pounds and looked remarkable. I received compliments and praise from my parents and friends…and I wanted more. I felt accepted and loved. I belong! Now I’ll be popular! The disordered eating thought process began in high school but exploded when I entered college and joined a sorority.
Before I knew it I was a full-blown bulimic, a disease that took over my life. I wish someone had said to me, “Great, you’re now a size six. There are a million other size sixes out there. What’s different about you? What is about you, Kimberly the person, that shines?” That would have stung a little, but hopefully have pointed me towards working on my inside. Instead, I worked tirelessly trying to conform to this culture’s image of the stick, thin woman.
As I grew into adulthood, my self-esteem continued to deteriorate. Clearly, by bingeing and purging I was self-medicating—the stress, anxieties, and pain. And then my body started desiring and needing the alcohol. Alcohol abuse usually leads to inappropriate sexual behavior. I couldn’t stop the promiscuity. I did what I thought I should do in order to be accepted. Again, I justified it. Everyone else is sleeping around. It was a way to fill the hole in my heart. But it only deepened the wounds of shame, humiliation, and abandonment.
I eventually got pregnant and chose to have an abortion—another demon o deal with. I had a major life choice to grapple with--to bring this baby to term, or abort it. There was no doubt in my mind that abortion was the answer. After all, I wasn’t married, I had an established lifestyle, and I would have brought embarrassment and shame upon my parents. When I chose abortion, I was really choosing to purge my baby, like the food I ate. I could clearly see that at that time in my life I didn’t value myself, so how could I value my baby’s life? You could say the monster bulimia took two innocent lives. After I had the abortion, I chose to bury this experience like a wrecked ship, on the bottom of an ocean.
Like Ophelia, I was in danger of drowning. It was beginning to look like a life or death situation. It was vital I be revived. I needed someone to point me to Jesus Christ. “In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears” (Ps. 18:6).
God sent that person and he took me to church. Jesus walked into my messed up life and a couple months later I was saved. The Bible says, “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Rom. 10:9).
Jesus pronounced, “Daughter, You’re free to go. I’ve done the time for you (Acts 2; 2 Cor. 3:17). Now go and tell the world what you have experienced.” The shackles melted. Evil evaporated. Jesus will always meet us right where we are at. We don’t have to be good enough, smart enough or religious enough to earn an audience with him. We can have a personal, intimate relationship with the God Almighty.
My identity changed because God adopted me into his family. God took all my guilty acts and thoughts, and placed them on Jesus. At that moment, he said, “Kimberly, you are forgiven. Every offense is wiped from your record.” God forgives and forgets—completely, and I became righteous—perfect before God. No external makeover can compare to the internal makeover we receive from Jesus Christ!
Excerpt from Kimberly’s book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask: Toss Out Toxic Thoughts
For twenty years I lived an Ophelia existence. I attempted to take control of my mind, yet I couldn’t conquer the addiction to food, alcohol, cigarettes, diet pills, and my promiscuous behavior. As a kid, our family moved quite a bit. The first move from America to London, England. I was teased by schoolmates because I didn’t fit into the culture. I was unlike them because I had an accent. I felt stupid because I needed a tutor. I was weird because my clothes were different. Weirdo! What I heard was, “You do not belong” and “You are not accepted.”
We moved back to America when I was twelve. Again I was weird and different, but now I was entering adolescence—the hurricane years. The pain of rejection became part of my normal thought process. I expected people not to like me. We moved several more times. I fell in with the wild crowd, feeling the pressure to fit in. I smoked cigarettes and tried alcohol and drugs. This group gave me a sense of belonging and a means to forget the rejection and losses.
Then I began to gravitate into a new world of worshipping celebrities and models. I believed the lie that to be popular you have to look like a model. Teen magazines say, Don’t worry about being good, worry about looking good and being socially accepted!
As a teen I pretty much turned off my God-given talents and gifts in search of the Western culture’s definition of ideal. I set my sights on being a super model.
When I announced this in my sixth-grade class, a few boys laughed, “Yeah, you’ll be a supermodel…for MAD Magazine.” Translation, You’re ugly. Give it up! I didn’t give it up. I’d do anything to be a beautiful super model or celebrity. And why not? In this culture celebrity and beauty has its rewards. This was the beginning of what I call the Cover Girl masquerade . . . and the spiral downwards began.
The spiral began innocently enough with a simple diet. My senior year in high school I lost fifteen pounds and looked remarkable. I received compliments and praise from my parents and friends…and I wanted more. I felt accepted and loved. I belong! Now I’ll be popular! The disordered eating thought process began in high school but exploded when I entered college and joined a sorority.
Before I knew it I was a full-blown bulimic, a disease that took over my life. I wish someone had said to me, “Great, you’re now a size six. There are a million other size sixes out there. What’s different about you? What is about you, Kimberly the person, that shines?” That would have stung a little, but hopefully have pointed me towards working on my inside. Instead, I worked tirelessly trying to conform to this culture’s image of the stick, thin woman.
As I grew into adulthood, my self-esteem continued to deteriorate. Clearly, by bingeing and purging I was self-medicating—the stress, anxieties, and pain. And then my body started desiring and needing the alcohol. Alcohol abuse usually leads to inappropriate sexual behavior. I couldn’t stop the promiscuity. I did what I thought I should do in order to be accepted. Again, I justified it. Everyone else is sleeping around. It was a way to fill the hole in my heart. But it only deepened the wounds of shame, humiliation, and abandonment.
I eventually got pregnant and chose to have an abortion—another demon o deal with. I had a major life choice to grapple with--to bring this baby to term, or abort it. There was no doubt in my mind that abortion was the answer. After all, I wasn’t married, I had an established lifestyle, and I would have brought embarrassment and shame upon my parents. When I chose abortion, I was really choosing to purge my baby, like the food I ate. I could clearly see that at that time in my life I didn’t value myself, so how could I value my baby’s life? You could say the monster bulimia took two innocent lives. After I had the abortion, I chose to bury this experience like a wrecked ship, on the bottom of an ocean.
Like Ophelia, I was in danger of drowning. It was beginning to look like a life or death situation. It was vital I be revived. I needed someone to point me to Jesus Christ. “In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears” (Ps. 18:6).
God sent that person and he took me to church. Jesus walked into my messed up life and a couple months later I was saved. The Bible says, “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Rom. 10:9).
Jesus pronounced, “Daughter, You’re free to go. I’ve done the time for you (Acts 2; 2 Cor. 3:17). Now go and tell the world what you have experienced.” The shackles melted. Evil evaporated. Jesus will always meet us right where we are at. We don’t have to be good enough, smart enough or religious enough to earn an audience with him. We can have a personal, intimate relationship with the God Almighty.
My identity changed because God adopted me into his family. God took all my guilty acts and thoughts, and placed them on Jesus. At that moment, he said, “Kimberly, you are forgiven. Every offense is wiped from your record.” God forgives and forgets—completely, and I became righteous—perfect before God. No external makeover can compare to the internal makeover we receive from Jesus Christ!
Excerpt from Kimberly’s book: Breaking the Cover Girl Mask: Toss Out Toxic Thoughts
Friday, August 6, 2010
Why are we so unhappy with our bodies?
Slowly over time, you developed your body image based on what your family, boyfriend(s), and/or husband(s), coaches, and teachers told you. Add to that thousands of daily media messages from magazines, novels, television, music, and you start to believe that you’re fat or ugly. All these negative thoughts and beliefs can lead down a self-destructive path unless you know how to recognize and cope with them. A woman with a healthy body image respects her body, takes care of her body, and keeps her body in perspective.
What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is defined as “a confidence and satisfaction in oneself.” It is your overall evaluation of your self-worth and how you value your own attributes. How high or low your self-esteem is depends on how you compare what you’d like to be with how you actually see yourself.
Research shows that girls lose twenty-three percent of their self-esteem between elementary and middle school. A study by the American Association of University Women found only twenty-nine percent of high school girls were happy with themselves.
Psychologists describe key components of self-esteem as how you evaluate yourself in terms of important characteristics like what you are good at, what you are not so good at, and the kinds of situations you prefer or avoid.
Most of our feelings about ourselves are built into us in childhood. If we were fortunate to have loving parents who conveyed our worth in their relationship to us, and if we grew up in a safe environment with positive relationships with peers, teachers, and role models, then it is likely we will feel reasonably good about ourselves. However, if faced with negative influences in childhood, it may not take much to tip the balance the other way.
“The body is a sacred garment. It’s your first and last garment; it is what you enter life in and what you depart life with, and it should be treated with honor.” –Martha Graham
[Excerpt from “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” by Kimberly Davidson].
What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is defined as “a confidence and satisfaction in oneself.” It is your overall evaluation of your self-worth and how you value your own attributes. How high or low your self-esteem is depends on how you compare what you’d like to be with how you actually see yourself.
Research shows that girls lose twenty-three percent of their self-esteem between elementary and middle school. A study by the American Association of University Women found only twenty-nine percent of high school girls were happy with themselves.
Psychologists describe key components of self-esteem as how you evaluate yourself in terms of important characteristics like what you are good at, what you are not so good at, and the kinds of situations you prefer or avoid.
Most of our feelings about ourselves are built into us in childhood. If we were fortunate to have loving parents who conveyed our worth in their relationship to us, and if we grew up in a safe environment with positive relationships with peers, teachers, and role models, then it is likely we will feel reasonably good about ourselves. However, if faced with negative influences in childhood, it may not take much to tip the balance the other way.
“The body is a sacred garment. It’s your first and last garment; it is what you enter life in and what you depart life with, and it should be treated with honor.” –Martha Graham
[Excerpt from “I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?” by Kimberly Davidson].
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