You may remember the story of 11-year-old Jaycee Lee Dugard who was kidnapped in 1991. Abducted from a school bus stop, she went missing for over eighteen years. During this time Jaycee had two daughters by her abductor. Most people wonder why she simply didn’t run away when she had the opportunity. Psychologists have a term to explain this phenomenon: the Stockholm syndrome.
Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response that occasionally occurs in people who’ve been abducted and held hostage. The abductee doesn’t resist and actually shows signs of loyalty or caring for the person who took them. They do so despite the dangerous and harmful things the abductor does to them. Instead of hating the abductor, the person befriends and, at times, actually believes the captor is protecting them instead of harming and dominating them. Some people believe this may have happened to Jaycee.
We can use this term, Stockholm syndrome, to understand how a person becomes abducted by addiction. Using an eating disorder as the example, the disorder takes hold of the person’s mind and won’t let go despite the fact the eating disorder is harmful, even potentially lethal. The abductor (eating disorder) makes the person do many things: starve, binge, purge, take laxatives, or exercise until exhaustion. In return, the abductor offers her a false sense of protection.
The woman held captive believes she controls the power of the eating disorder because she chose it. As a result, she befriends the eating disorder and creates an identity around it. She’ll even defend it when other people show concern or try to medically treat her; similar to the abused woman who defends her abuser. Over time she actually believes the eating disorder is helping, not hurting her. It gives the message, “If you’re thin, all your problems will disappear. I’m your savior!” It promises life, but ultimately robs you of your very soul.
There’s a good chance that right now you feel stressed. You promised yourself you wouldn’t engage in a negative or self-destructive behavior. But somehow the abductor baited you with those familiar promises. The liar it is, it starts the process of churning out negative self-talk. You find yourself doing what you don’t want to do. Sin deceives. It whispers, “The abductor will give you what you want. It will take care of you. God won’t. He’s angry at you.” The abductor promises to relieve your pain and fill your soul-hole. Christians have a name for this captor, Satan—and his goal is to silently seduce us, infect our minds, and destroy our lives.
Someone said humans have a tendency to crucify ourselves between two thieves: the regret of yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. The good news is healing and transformation often occur smack in the middle of life’s adversities. God knows the lessons we must learn—lessons of patience, submission, and self-denial. When we vent our heart to the Lord, He uses our pain to draw us closer to Him.
Many times our prayers aren’t answered immediately. The Bible tells us not to lose heart (Luke 18:1). Keep praying—don’t cease. Sometimes God fulfills our desires. Sometimes He asks us to wait. Sometimes He says no so He can give us something better.
Do you have an abductor? Describe your abductor. What do you find so compelling about it? What promises it has made you. What precious gifts has it stolen from you? How have you been deceived? Pray and think carefully: What do you really want? What are you actually seeking?
This is an excerpt from the 2nd Edition "I’m Beautiful? Why Can’t I See It?" by author Kimberly Davidson
Well my abductor right now is cigarettes and Im trying really hard to quit. For my health and for my Mom. I told my Mom I would quit for her, but I do hear in the morning its time for a smoke and Im sure its Satan telling me.
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