As a kid, our family moved quite a bit. The first major move was age seven, moving from America to London, England. I was teased by schoolmates because I didn’t fit into the culture. I was unlike them because I had an accent. I felt stupid because I needed a tutor. I was weird because my clothes were different.
You never get used to other kids being mean, but in time you learn how not to feel the sting of rejection so much because of a deep-seeded desire for acceptance. I worked tirelessly trying to conform to the way I thought my peer group and teachers wanted me to be. And today it’s not much different. Young girls experience a great deal of pressure from the culture to create a false self, a mask. This disorients and depresses many girls because they feel the pressure to be someone they’re not.
Rejection is one of our most powerful and destructive emotions. It may cause as much distress in the pain center of the brain as an actual physical injury, according to research. Rejection feels like pain to the brain. Perhaps this is why we use the term "hurt feelings." One of the studies’ authors said, "While everyone accepts that physical pain is real, people are tempted to think that social pain is just in their heads, but physical and social pain may be more similar than we realized."
Scientists at UCLA recently found that rejection triggers responses in the body that can increase a person’s risk for maladies such as asthma, arthritis, cardiovascular disease, and depression. Social stress such as rejection causes inflammation, which can have detrimental effects on mental and physical health.
God has a plan to help us throw out toxic thinking. Think of your mind like a large, clear vase filled with dirty, murky water. Your job is to fill the vase with clear, fresh water until it is no longer dirty and cloudy. The clincher is—you only have an eyedropper to do it. After adding the first few drops, you don’t see any change. This is when you may be tempted to give up. That’s the devil.
We keep running our thoughts through our brain’s filter system. Eventually the water is less dingy. The more drops of water you add, and the more lies that are replaced by truth, the cleaner the water, your mind, becomes. While there will be residual effects, you have made significant improvements. Believe it!
The Bible describes this clean water theory, “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you” (Phil. 4:8-9, my emphasis).
Do not believe every first thought that pops in. Paul is saying that if a thought is not true, don’t let it enter your mind!
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